Relationships & shit

I can get into a relationship, & yea it's all cool at first. Then I'm like wait, this is too much for me. I don't want to be the girlfriend or anything, especially when I know I don't feel the same. I pull away, I don't think I've ever let a guy get too close to me. I know the tricks, I look at relationships like a game at times. I DON'T WANT TO BE THE LOSER. Because you know what you're left with ? Nothing. I don't want to feel that, I've never been in love, but I don't let myself. I make everything difficult, & yet have met a guy to challenge that. I want to be challenged I need to be challenged. Guys fall for me, this girl....who ironically doesn't even like relationships. Who would sometimes rather be alone ? Or maybe I'm just wanting something I haven't found yet. I guess that's why I say I'm a tiger waiting to be tamed, because there has not been a man yet to do so.